Oh, Die
by ladylily101
Summary: Oneshot, though followup is possible. James and Sirius stumble upon a book of old spells, and mayhem ensues. Lily, who is beginning to fall in love with James, though she won't even admit it to herself, watches from behind a bookshelf.


**AN: I was going to put this in Forever and Ever, but I think it works better as a oneshot, wouldn't quite fit in with the storyline of F & E. Anyway, this is from a joke with my friend Ruby. At my school, when we get annoyed at somebody, we often tell them to "go die!" or "oh, die." But what if "oh, die" (or rather, "odai") was a spell? Hazel (who may appear when I revise "Forever and Ever") is a friend of the character telling the story - I'm not telling who it is, but you'll figure it out quickly enough.  
**

"Oh, Die"

One Sunday afternoon in 7th year, a month or so before finals, I looked up from my book to see James and Sirius walk into the library. They never came in there unless they were going out with someone who studies, and neither of them was dating anyone at the time.

Not that I keep track of that, or anything.

I guessed that they were finally going to start studying for N.E.W.T.s - I couldn't blame them; I had started months earlier and I was scrambling to process everything I had learned since first year. Then again, they'd have to start later, wouldn't they, to keep up their "image".

I hid my face behind my book, not wanting to deal with James asking me out - especially because I was relenting, and I feared that the next time he asked I might say yes. Hazel said I had started to relent years ago, but I never believed her until now. I wouldn't say I was avoiding James - I just hadn't talked to or seen him since the day before. That's all, really.

Okay, fine. I was avoiding him. Whatever. It's not as if I keep track of how much I see James all the time. I don't even think about him that much.

_Liar_, said an imaginary Hazel.

But back to the point.

Sirius had picked a table very close to where I was sitting, and though we were separated by a bookshelf, I could hear all that went on; and, if I tilted my head slightly, could see what they were doing. Not, of course, that I was interested or anything.

"Padfoot, look at what I found!" said James quietly, coming back with a large green book in his hands, "_Spells That Have Been Long Forgotten_ - this could help us with those spells from first year!"

Sirius let out a snort of laughter, which got him a glare from Madam Pince, the new librarian.

"No, really, it looks cool," said James even more quietly, so quiet that I had to strain to hear him, as he looked warily in Madam Pince's direction.

They settled down to read, laughing quietly and pointing out spells to each other.

"Oh, Prongs, here's one you'd want: _'Liliagratum_ - a spell to get plants, especially _lilies_, to do what you want them to!'" Sirius said, empasizing the word "lilies." James glared at him, and I blushed even though they couldn't see me.

I turned back to my book, determined to concentrate - of course I wouldn't need to try at all, or anything like that. I wasn't interested in the fact that James was obviously in love with me - no, I never EVER thought about it.

Ever.

When I looked up next, a few moments later, James was pointing excitedly at something in the book. "Look at this, Padfoot! '_Odai_ - a curse that sets one's enemy's hair on fire.' That looks like fun!"

Oh, yes, fun indeed - for the 7-year-old. Or in this case, 17-year-old.

James continued to elaborate on the subject.

"You'd just be strolling along with your wand out," James said, pulling his wand out to demonstrate, "and if someone annoyed you, you could wave your wand around like so," he said, waving his own wand in the direction of Sirius, "and tell the person, 'Oh, die!' Then their hair would be-" James stopped in astonishment.

The effect had been instantaneous. Sirius' hair immediately flared up, and Madam Pince ran over, shouting "_AUGUAMENTI!_" at the top of her lungs, which happened to only be about as loud as most people's normal voice. I guess that's what comes of being in a library all day.

When Sirius's hair would not stop burning, James grabbed the book, searching frantically for a countercharm. After a minute or so, he pointed his wand at Sirius and said quietly, "_nondai_." The fire on Sirius's head disappeared, leaving an awful smell, and a dripping wet Sirius, in its wake.

"Ugh, burnt hair smells awful!" James said, "And you're all wet! Sorry, mate, I didn't mean-"

"You're apologizing to your friend, and not to me or my books?" shrieked Madam Pince. "Do you know how much damage that fire could have caused if it had reached a bookshelf?"

"Well, it didn't!" protested James.

"Get out of the library this instant! Both of you!" Madam Pince said, glaring at James.

They slunk out, the foul smell trailing behind them, Sirius' wet footprints marking the path. Against my better judgment, I followed them out. I convinced myself that I was finished anyway - I wasn't remotely interested in either of them. Especially not James.

The Hazel in my mind reprimanded me yet again.

I kept just out of sight, listening on their conversation.

"Thanks, mate, that was amazing," said Sirius sarcastically, "Do you have any idea how long it took me to grow my hair out like this?"

"Course I do!" replied James, "I lived through it, remember?"

"You know," said Sirius, his voice dropping menacingly, "You ought to g-_ODAI_!"

I came around the corner just in time to see James' hair burst into flames. Sirius flicked his wand lazily, muttering, "_aguamenti_," and then "_nondai_."

"Now we're even," Sirius said, grinning at James.

As I looked at the two dripping boys, complete with their burnt hair, I couldn't stop the laugh that bubbled up, and they turned to look at me.

"Lily?" James asked in surprise, embarrassed that I had to see him in his current state.

I tried to reply, but the laugh wouldn't stop. As if it was contagious, Sirius and James looked at each other and started laughing too. I finally started to calm down, and saw Sirius discreetly elbow James in the side and twitch his head in my direction.

The silent argument that ensued lasted only a few seconds, but it was full of head shaking on James' part and nodding on Sirius' part. Eventually, James seemed to give up, and turned to me.

"Will you go out with me?" he said sheepishly.

Damn. That was what I had been trying to avoid for the past few days, mostly of fear that I'd agree.

This proved to be a valid fear, as my mouth seemed to act without first consulting with my brain.

I felt myself grin, and reply, "You know, I just might."

James gaped at me. "You mean... you're going to..."

"Yes, James Potter, I'll go out with you, burnt hair and all."

Sirius pulled James away, who was grinning from ear to ear, probably to stop him from saying anything that would make me change my mind. But you know what the most surprising part was?

I wasn't dreading the date. I was _looking forward_ to it.

_I told you so!_ said my mind-Hazel.

"Oh, die," I whispered to the mind-Hazel, whose hair burst into flames. "It doesn't mean anything, he's just a friend."

But my emotions said otherwise: the rest of the afternoon, I couldn't stop grinning.  
**  
AN: So... thoughts? And, should I write a little follow-up? I have an idea, but I'll only write it if you guys are interested. Hint: it would involve Snape and some other Slytherins... (wink-wink-nudge-nudge)**


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